Monday, November 28, 2011

If you can't take the heat

Yesterday I made a bagel for lunch. The loving and supportive husband I am, I offered to make lunch for my wife.
"Ahhh!" I screamed, and walked into the living room with a paper towel wrapped around my thumb.
"Wife," I said to her, "you're going to be upset at me."
She looked up at me from the couch. "Yossi! You burned yourself?"
Ha! "Nope!" I tell her with a smug smile, proud that I didn't meet such a low expectation. "I cut myself," I explained.

After drying my tears and regaining my cooking composure, I walked back into the kitchen. I didn't want to get a drip of blood on her bagel, so it was awkward finding a way to hold the bagel and slice it. For an instant, I considered sticking my finger through the hole, and slicing carefully... but only for an instant.

The bagel was sliced, and I went to toast it.

"Ahhhhhhhh!" I cried with alarm.
Walking into the living room again, I told my wife, "Now you're really going to be upset at me!"
Looking at me with big eyes, she asks, "You cut yourself again!!!??"
Ha! "Nope!" I say, again with a smug smile. "I burnt myself!"

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

"I'm coming in!!"

I was reading a story in a Tzivos Hashem magazine.
In the middle of the story, five months after a certain woman left the beis din, an old man entered without warning.
Isn't it funny that the author wrote that the man entered without warning?
Do many people announce their arrival before entering rooms?
I've decided from now on to yell into a room, "I'm coming in!" before entering, to make sure they have a warning of my entrance, especially if it might be recorded in a book or magazine one day.