I was at Burlington Coat Factory a few weeks ago, and found a ski cap I thought might come in handy (like if there is a blizzard). It did not have a price tag on it, so when I came to the check out counter, the woman needed to call in someone to do a price check.
She picked up her phone, and her voice was heard throughout the store, "Baby Depot to register 4, baby depot to register 4!"
Blushing, I told her I actually took it from the Men's department.
She held up my ski cap, inspecting it with a suspicious look. In doing so, she also allowed everyone behind me in line to judge me as well.
Skeptical, she picked up the phone again and said, "Cancel on Baby Depot. Can I get Men's to register 4?"
Can I have all young ladies between the ages of, oh, let's say: 18 and 24, please step forward.
If you are single, please take one more step forward.
Hmmm. Still a lot to choose from.
Okay, I got it. If you are not a photographer, please take two steps back.
I've decided I'll be better off marrying a photographer. This way our engagement announcement will be an article with a nice picture, like this one, instead of the paltry two liners that commoners generally receive.
In 1414, we pay for our room and board. Parking spots are not included.
I'll be needing one soon, you see.
Now that they are throwing in a car, along with the inflated ego, as prizes for this year's Jewish Star, I have no choice but to enter.
Now I need to choose which song I'll sing, and whether to film my video in black and white.
Each one of you, when standing in line at a water fountain, thinks: "Gosh, I'm really the only one who knows how to put my lips incredibly close to the fountain without touching it! It's gross when the people in front of me do it..."
On Shabbos, I walked past a neighborhood called Nottingham Forest. This got me thinking of Robin Hood. How warped our education is.
Why in the world did we accept the idea that Robin Hood was a hero? Steal from the rich, give to the poor. ????? How is that good? Even if the rich man is mean, he deserves to lose his money? Shouldn't it have been something more along the lines of: Convince the city to help provide vocational training skills for the poor. ????