Monday, January 25, 2010

YossiNews (or: I'll tell you what iz neias)

Here are some headlines I've gathered from various news outlets:


YossiPoints Fall Against the Euro
Wall Street, New York- Despite a recent rally, YossiPoints have fallen against the Euro at the end of this quarter. However, with the decline of the MottelPoint due to a decrease in posts in these last weeks, the YossiPoint is still a safer and more stable investment for Americans than MottelPoints. Financial analysts advise South American and Croation bloggers to invest in the BlogspotFrancs, which have been steadily rising in value since the mid 1980's.....

Housing Bubble Bursts
Richmond, Virginia- A large housing bubble in the greater Richmond area burst this week. Hundreds of pedestrians were caught unawares and were taken to Memorial Regional Medical Center to remove the goo from their hair...

Congress Debates on Facebook Elections
Washington, D.C.- This week in the U.S. House, Representatives will debate the proposed Constitutional Amendment to change the presidential election process. The Stanley-Wolkoff Bill is a proposal that in effect renders the Electoral College obsolete. Registered voters will simply become a 'fan' of the candidate of their choice. To preempt corruption of ballots, voters will not be able to 'poke' or 'throw a sheep' at other voters. They will of course still be able to invite other voters to Mafia Wars and Farmville, as Fred Wolkoff, one of the co-authors of the bill, maintained: "Without Farmville, what point is there really of Facebook?".....
 

NASA Publishes Shocking and Never Before Seen New Moon Photos
Universal City, California- Summit Entertainment Studios sues....