Wednesday, August 26, 2009

I bought a new hat. Mazal Tov.

I finally got a new weekday hat.
I'll be posting it on onlysimchas very soon.
At primo, I was deciding between two hats.
For those of you who A) have never bought a hat, B) bought a hat but forgot what it's like, or C) know exactly what I'm talking about but still want me to continue, allow myself to explain what it takes to buy a hat.
You are really just deciding on the brim. They can mash up the crown, and pinch and bubble and steam and radically change it.
Which makes it annoyingly difficult to decide on a hat. I don't know what looks best on me, and can only guess. It's almost as bad as when you go buy glasses, and really you are only picking out the color of the sticks on the side. The rimless glass in the middle can be shaped to whichever shape I want. Of course, when you have no idea what shape you want, it becomes a lot like hat-shopping, which brings me back to our story.
I chose a brim. Not too big, since I'm not the tallest cat in town, but not too small, for I am no clown.

The guy at Primo looks at the hat I chose, and comments that it is a more Sporty one, and the one I passed was a Dressy hat.
What?!?!?
I'm a Sporty type of guy? Don't I want to be classy and dressy?
And what does Sporty even mean for a hat?
Like, this is the hat to wear to a soccer tournament?

I asked the man if there was a compatibility test of some sort that I could take, to determine if I am Sporty or Dressy. For all I know, there could be more labels, like Clowny, Shloompy, Grouchy, or Antiquated. Imagine if my test proved me to be a Grouchy hat kind of guy.

He told me the only test was to walk outside and see what people say.

So anyone who passes me on Kingston while I'm wearing my new weekday hat, please let me know if I look Sporty enough to match my Sporty hat.