Sunday, June 8, 2008

Shavuos

This will most likely be my last post. After I press publish, you will probably never here from me again.
Here's why:
When I gave my blood for Dor Yesharim's genetic testing, I got a very interesting call a few weeks later. They said they found something very odd in my blood, and wanted to know if it was true. After verifying my confidentiality, I told them it was true- that I did not like cheesecake.
Joint researchers at Oxford University and Duke University finished about four years ago a six-year-long study in which they finally found a very unique gene, in Jews, which is called the RSD gene (Nobody can actually pronounce the 12 syllable name), or the Stereotype Gene. You can read more about the study here. This makes all of us enjoy cheesecake.
I don't. Apparently, only 1 in 100,000 Jews carry a special enzyme which blocks the production of this gene. It is so rare, that as soon as I push Publish, there will be a S.W.A.T. team at my door, to tranquilize me, bag me, and bring me to Area 51, in order to do tests and experiments. The reason this enzyme is so valuable, is that the scientists believe it is a universal gene production blocker, and can be used to stop any gene from manifesting.
It is because of my unique DNA that I also don't like (gasp) shmaltz herring. (OK, so I have never really tasted it, but I mean, come on! Look at it and smell it, and tell me how I could possible enjoy eating something like that!!)
So so long, world. Have a good Shavuos, and be Mekabel the Torah BeSimcha U'Bepnimios.
Maybe one of you will continue blogging for me, to keep the flame alive...