Sunday, May 25, 2008

Clowning Around

For the parade on Friday, I was a clown. And naively thinking that Murphy's Law didn't apply to clowns, imagine our nightmare when.... well let me back up.

Everyone knows that there is a fine line which separates being a clown, and acting like a complete idiot. That fine line is the costume. And here's where our story continues- we didn't get costumes!!

And we had come so prepared, too!!

Because nothing gets you in the mood of a clown better than some distilled wheat grain (or whatever it is they use to make mashke).

So of course, the parade and rally continued on without us, leaving us miserable (if we had make-up, imagine our huge painted frowns we'd have).

But then we had an epiphany. We did have costumes, we just had to know where to look. We ended up wrapping caution tape and cardboard boxes around us, and we ran like idiots to the rally along the parade route.

When we got there, we succinctly told that these costumes were unwanted, but- The costumes were on their way!!!

So it worked out in the end.

More about that day:

When we arrived, we waited outside a school building, where all the little kids were screaming things at us, like "Bittul Torah" and "Is the Rebbe alive? Why isn't he here?" and stuff like that. We would've yelled back, but of course words can never hurt us. It was really funny when some of them started to sing Yechi. Because they vocalize differently, and it sounded like: Yuchi Adoniney, Moriney VeRabiney.

And at the rally, lots of kids would ask us if the lollipops were kosher (and please tell me why everyone has to call them Lollies??? It drives me nuts. Just say lollipop!!), and up to their standards. I wanted to say: look, kids. It's the most disgusting looking lollipop ever. Of course it's something you can eat. Only the highest kashrus for this nasty thing. Most just threw them on the ground, but it could have been just from the look of them, not the lack of a decent hechsure.

A lot of times, kids would ask me something in Yiddish, and so I just used my being a clown as an excuse not to answer (because for some reason, it just seems right that clowns don't speak, ya' know?)

There was a group of "cool" 12 year olds at the rally, so me and another clown got into a dance-off with them, and of course we whooped 'em (is that how you spell whooped?).

Oh, yeah. There were a total of close to 5,000 kids there!!!!!

And at the end, we had to clean up. This guy comes over to me and asks, "Are you a climber?" I've never really gotten that question before. And if someone had to describe me, I'm sure that wouldn't be close to the top of the list. But I shrugged and said "sure".

He gave me an exacto knife, and told me to cut down the huge signs of the 12 psukim and Lag B'Omer banner, that were tied to the fence.

The fence was about 16 feet high.

I had to climb up, hold on, mostly with my hands, and the knife in between my teeth, and swing myself to get to other parts of the fence. Once, I was dangling at the highest point, with no support for my feet, and the top bar of the fence wasn't connected to the middle post, so it could have plunged downwards.... But baruch hashem I can now answer proudly that yes, I'm a climber.